I just wanna live. Dont really care about the things they say.

Sunday, March 13, 2005
relink okay!

http://www.livejournal.com/users/0911love/

cheers!

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 8:21 PM

Right, I finally can blog!

So there was the lifeskills' camp...which I tremendously enjoyed(: and I kinda miss it right now... since it's the last camp 203 will have together ever again...

It's really cool, the way our classmates look out for each other. and the way each of us unfolds from our shell. had fun discovering more about everyone. unlike last year, when we knew nothing about each other at all, and probably felt utmost discomfort at the idea of sleeping next to each other.

If conflicts would bring us closer together, if quarrels would dissolve into love, if unity could defeat all odds, if togethernesss could melt away the uneasiness, and warmth could spark a thousand friendships.

every experience, every lesson learnt. once bitten twice shy, but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

anyway, i really liked the river crossing and water activities! and i think our instructors were really funky yeaa! hurhur (CONNIE! EDDY!)

so now im super super tanned( like im not dark enough already >.<) and ive put on weight, i think. all the fattening (vegetarian) food hoho. well but i think this lsc is really very relaxed and slack. i mean, packet food every meal, egg tarts hotdog buns chocolate swiss rolls and pau! it's amazing how the school spoils us but as long as i dont have to consume dry milo powder(yea, maria said they had to, at OBS), im not complaining!

the nights were the best. vivid images of stargazing with my hubby (zijing) and bern dearest and nicole and jialer and limpeh and eunice still flashes in my mind. the diadem of stars that sparkled above us was beautiful.

so anyhow we couldnt sleep the first night, and started talking. bao started telling me about gackt and his lifestory...and then i started talking to bern dearest about some *ahem* stuff...and then limpeh and eunice got attracted by the noise came over and we all started talking before falling into deep slumber.

the second night we got back really late after the campfire (which was really cool! 205 left a deep impression on me-anyhow i was cheering my heart out for mel and yichan and lihong, and the dances were all very well cheorographed. if only we did something like that instead of cheerleading! xD) and then we were Super Hungry so we munched on biscuits. a big metal tin of biscuits passed around among us in the duration of the camp so whenever we are hungry we were allowed to munch on them ;) it was those kinda old traditional squarish biscuits, with abit of sugar sprinkled on the top. it probably tasted the best it could taste during camp, cos we were hungry and had nothing to eat, but anyhow we loved those biscuits! after which we finally drifted off to dreamland, and limpeh had to ditch her idea of ________ lest they faint during the telematches the following day.

telematches were okay, fine, didnt win anything but was very fun. 103 got best class for talentime! we were cheering for them all the way. how proud were we.

so that was about all!

here's a extremely sweet thankyou, topped up with strawberry jellies and chocolate rice, with butterscotch marshmellos and fruit candies, to everyone who helped me along the way during the camp! especially bao, bern dearest, eunice, limpeh, amandy banana... <33

resolved conflicts, healed wounds, mended hearts.

broken smiles.

that sparkle in your eye when you talk to me, as if i am some positive addiction to your life.
i cant tell you how much i love you!

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 11:47 AM

Friday, March 04, 2005
ONE thing u believe in
1) myself.

TWO songs in ur mind right now
1) larger than life 2) bring me to life (all the life stuff :])

THREE wishes u have
1) syf gold with HONOURS!!!!
2) be more flex. (otherwise during dance will lose alot of face man)
3) more time to slack and go wild!

FOUR people always at heart
1) her
2) her
3) edison
4) myself (RIGHT)

FIVE of ur characteristics
1) slow
2) lame
3) messy(or expressive haha)
4) funky! =)
5) dopey.

SIX things that u look for in the opposite gender or things abt them dat attract u
1) voice 2) height!!3) personality4) smile 5)the way they do things to make you happy 6) the way they try whatever they can to make up with you after a fight

SEVEN things u think u are good at
1) digressing
2) being lame
3) putting myself down
4) holding my temper
5)slacking!
6) bingeing
7) being depressed

EIGHT things u hope to get
1) adidas/kappa sneakers
2) syf gold with honors
3) grade 6 piano certificate (Cries)
4) contacts.
5) to see people around me happy
6) love
7) new uh bag?
8) your point.

NINE movies that u have watched and like
1) lilo and stitch
2) all the harrypotter movies.
3) phaaatom of the opera
4) NATIONAL TREASURE
5) moving targets
6) princess diaries 1 and 2
7) the haunted mansion
8) the forgotten
9) wimbledon!

TEN of ur favorite bands/artists1) edison
2) daniel
3) westlife
4) michelle branch
5) evanescence
6) gareth gates 7
7) simple plan
8) S.H.E
9) fish leong
10) lindsay lohan

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 9:54 PM

Thursday, March 03, 2005
I saw her crying, and i couldnt help it, i started crying too. i let the tears flow. they tasted salty, bitter. these were tears of exasperation, sorrow, confusion, loneliness.

if only you wouldnt break out hearts, if only you would hear us out, if only you would hold your peace for a second and listen to what we have to say. if only you would respect us as you expect us to do to you. if only you would consider our feelings carefully, if only you would treat us just like you treat your other friends. after all, we must be something to you. if not, her.

i dont care if you hate me forever, but please love her.
from the bottom of your heart.
sincerely.

cos when she cries, i wouldnt be able to help it. i'll start crying too.

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 8:05 PM

I made a Quiz for You on QuizYourFriends.com
CLICK on the link below or PASTE it into your browser.http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050303025202-919842

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 3:47 PM

Wednesday, March 02, 2005
[_] snuck out of the house
[x] gotten lost in your city
[x] seen a shooting star
[x] had a serious surgery
[x] gone out in public in your pajamas
[x] kissed a stranger
[x] hugged a stranger
[_] been in a fist fight
[x] been arrested
[_] done drugs
[_] Had alcohol
[x] laughed and had milk/coke come outof your nose
[x] pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[_] swore at your parents
[x] been in love
[x] been close to love
[x] been to a casino
[x] been skydiving
[x] broken a bone
[x] been high- always
[x] skinny-dipped
[_] skipped school*horrified*
[_] flashed someone
[_] saw a therapist
[x] played spin the bottle
[_] gotten stitches
[x] drank a whole gallon of milk in onehour-- or water
[x] bitten someone
[_] been to Disneyland
[x] gotten the chicken pox
[x] kissed a member of the same sex
[x] crashed into a friend's car
[_] been to Japan
[x] ridden in a taxi d u h
[x] shoplifted
[_] been fired
[x] had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
[_] stolen something from your job
[_] gone on a blind date
[x] lied to a friend
[x] had a crush on a teacher
[_] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
[_] been to Europe
[_] slept with a co-worker
[_] been married
[_] gotten divorced
[_] had children
[x] seen someone die
[_] had a close friend die
[_] been to Africa
[_] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[_] Been to Canada
[_] Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[_] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[_] Thrown up in a bar
[_] Purposely set a part of myself on fire
[x] Eaten Sushi
[_] Been snowboarding
[x] Met someone in person from the internet
[x] lost a child
[_] gone to college
[_] graduated college
[_] done hard drugs
[x] tried killing yourself
[x] fired a gun DUH!
[x] purposely hurt yourself
[x] taken painkillers
(more than 5 are faaake, HEHEHE)

Message: I AM : jiaaamiin
I WANT : to eat without ever getting fat (PLEASE!)
I WISH : to get into IP. and meet edison. =)
I HATE : pretentious people. people who get your hopes high up, then shatter them all in the next moment.
I MISS : you.
I FEAR : failing at anything.
I HEAR : bring me to life
I WONDER : why im not feeling sick now
I REGRET : not doing what i should have done, and doing what i should not have done
I LOVE: you
I ALWAYS: sing, eat, sleep, eat, slack, eat, exercise, EAT.
I DANCE: mo li hua.
I SING: ihaveadream
I CRY: cos mommy! he broke my barbie doll.
I LOST: oh, everything
IM CONFUSED: how come i can diet forever and yet not able to slim down:(
I NEED: money, love, edison.
I SHOULD: go exercise
Yes or No
u keep a diary: yea
u like to cook: yea bah
u hav a secret u hav not shared with anyone: yea
u believe in love: above all things.
Wan to get married: yea.
Think u're a health freak : sometimes. im obsessed with yoghurt and healthbars and fruits and salads and veggies. but i pig out on sinful stuff. WAHHH.
Get along with ur parents: very well. most of the time.
Favourite NUMBER(S): 3. 10.
COLORS: red limegreen(smirks) grey white black blue orange.
MONTHS: june.
SEASON: autumn!
CHOCOLATE MILK OR VANILLA: la chocolat!
SUSHI OR FISH FILLET: sushi, less fattening. (BRRR)
THE BEACH OR THE MALL: the mall.maybe.
DAY OR NIGHT: night! yoruu.
CHRISTMAS OR CHINESE NEWYEAR/HARI RAYA?: christmas.
GIFT OR MONEY: under what circumstances?
LETTER OR E-MAIL: snailmail ;)SHLU! *nudge*
THE PIANO OR THE GUITAR: piano AND guitar! WHOO and the harp yay
NIKE OR ADIDAS: hmm. nike.
REEBOK OR CONVERSE: converse
ANIMALS OR PLANTS: animals
PHONE OR PERSON: person.
HOME OR OUTSIDE: home.
HOT OR COLD: cold.
BOUGHT SOMETHING: uhh
GONE TO THE MOVIES? : d u h
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? :......
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER? : d u h
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: yea
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? : yea
HUGGED SOMEONE? : of course lar.
PLAYED ANY GAMES ONLINE? : heheh.yea

I THINK IM GOING TO GET MULTI COLOURED BRACES TOMORROW!!!

oops sorry. too excited. it's my last time fitting for braces. YEAAH! <33

cheer up fel! <3333333333333333333333

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 7:47 PM

Monday, February 28, 2005
Kind soul who left that box of precious moments candies on my table during lunch break today. please please come to me and identify yourself thank you (:

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 5:28 PM

Sunday, February 27, 2005
decided to do this quiz. dont feel like hitting my french books. mmmhm;

mr right
1. Confident or shy? abit of both. confidence is good, but shyness makes him cute.
2. Cute or Cool?abit of both too.
3. Chinito or big eyes?anything lahh.
4. Friendly or picky?friendly. d u h
5. Fashionable or casual?both. :
6. Interesting or funny? BOTH. ergh.
7. Mysterious or out-in-the-open? out in the open. i dont like people who plays hard to get haha.
8. Intelligent or witty?both.
9. Conversationalist or more than words? ?
10.Rich or middle class? doesnt matter.
11.Romantic or buddy type?romantic AND budding. both...
12.Intellectual or sporty?BOTH.
(this quiz is getting nowhere)
13.Cuddly or has to be a good kisser?cuddly i guess :
14.nice teeth or nice eyes? both!
15.Understanding or patient? dont they sorta, brings it all back to the same thing?
16.Musician or athlete? doesnt really matter (:
17.Smoker or non-smoker?non smoker. d u h
18.Drinker or non-drinker?er.
19.Traditional or go-with-the-flow?go with the flow
20.Adventure seeker or laid back? adventure seeker.
22.Long or short hair?short!
23.tall or high? what HIGH? : as long as he's 8cm or more taller than me. which means he's gotta be quite short. bleargh.
24.Wear glasses or contact lens? doesnt matter.
25.Good listener or good teller? both!
26.Is there a guy like your type? nope. (that's how lucky im with guys huh eheh)

crap quiz.

another one.
lalala~
Now: blogging, and watching zheng gu wang at the same time =)
LAST THING(s) I...
Bought: two boxes of orange tic tacs! <33 tic tacs.
Read:angels and demons.
Watched on VCD: moving targets (YUHUI!)
Watched on DVD: harrypotter or smth.
PREFER..
Club/house: house
Cats/dogs: depends. xD
Pen/pencil: pen
Gloves/mittens: gloves- i dont cook! dont need mittens. hah.
Food/candy: chocolate. make that TOBLERONE. or tic tac. wahah!
Cassette/CD: CD lar. havent used a cassette for dunnohowlong.
Coke/Pepsi: same.
Matches/lighter: :

WHO DO YOU WANT TO...
Kill: creator of happy tree friends.
Kiss: -
Hug: her. but better not lest they say im obsessed or smth. HAHA.
FAVORITE..
Color: rosyred white black grey blue orange limegreen sherbetyellow
shoes: sneakers! (DEFINITELY NOT THE CHOIR PUMPS)
Handphone: coloured, camera, radio. i guess.
Song: too many! Fool again? i have a dream? ehh. alot alot more.
vegetable: i LOVE all sorts of veggie. especially lady fingers and kangkong.
Fruit: plum!guava!apple!
LAST...
Last movie you saw: forgot
Last phone number you called: her lor.
Last song you heard: bring me to life
Last thing you had to drink : moms seaweed soup (SLURP)
Last thing you ate:dinner.
Last time you showered: yesterday (i know i stink)
Last time you smiled: when she came online.
Last time time you laughed: just now when i told my brother the stupid racist joke.
Last thing you said: yea.
DO YOU...
sleep wif animal: lots since people gave me so many for my birthday. theres hotdog the sausage dog. that cute mashimaro. that OOOOH winnie the pooh. tare panda from felicia...
Read the newspaper: duhh.
Believe in miracles: not really...anymore.
Believe in astrology: mhmm.
Believe in magic: no.
Wear hats: i only wear caps! =D
Have any tattoos:will never
Hate yourself: yar lar.
Like your handwriting: sometimes.
Believe in witches: nope.
Trust others easily: kinda
Miss someone: YOU!

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 8:29 PM

sorry to everyone especially people like sera and sars. who's been putting up with me long enough. guess i have been kinda. hard to get along with? maybe, i just like to make things difficult for myself. yeaa.

( i cant help it if you dont like me but i like you and i'll be nice to you too(: no matter what)

oh yea. I finally got angels and demons from jinyao yay.
ahh i realised, i love eating tic tac orange flavour sweets! =) the boxy ones. haha.
and of course toblerone. (rocksrocksrocksrocksrocks)

(i wanna rock with you!)

Hoho, we are doing amazing mathematical discoveries for maths SIA. its gonna be so cool man.

(because. i like me better when im with you.)

hmmm. francais petit test tomrrow! havent really...studied. haha. theres actually nothing much going on in my life now. and how i havent written the ugly duckling thing. ACCKKKKK!

(frozen inside without your touch without your love darling!)

save me from the nothing ive become.

(bring me to life)

im sorry okay.
I know you dont care anymore. It doesnt matter to you. no matter what i say. you'll only ever listen to her.
pointless entry but whatever!

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 4:50 PM

Saturday, February 26, 2005
i realised i have been a real witch. because of my depression everyone around me is like suffering my tantrums and tempers...eye rolling incidents and snidey remarks. and i can feel the empathy...to marissa, i hope you are fine. jolene. take things easier okay? you cant be worse than me and i can practically understand how you feel. and especially to bernice. it's my fault. i shouldnt have forced you ( i think i sorta did...) to be the leader for om. now you are self reproaching for the failure we are facing... and im just feeling horribly guilty for not doing more than i could. or maybe i just like to play victim. whatever i know i have been doing my best trying to get the whole freaking group to hurry up but no one listens, except for those understanding ones. that ~~female dog of a teacher~~ person is totally incorrigible. anyway... i see that you are feeling guilty about not doing your job as a leader well enough but i still wanna say kudos! to you. because you have that sense of urgency and awareness. dont take it too hard upon yourself... you know if you broke, i would bend and support you. but all the same i dont wanna see you so sad over stuff.

i always thought if we just worked hard enough we could pull through.
load of bullshit.
(om's bad enough without you telling me about it every freaking minute of my life)

to felfel and amandybanana, and of course chityin. loyal taggers of my blog, thanks so much. and then there's always bobdog. maybe i could learn to count more on people. and let people count on me. somehow, i feel that now i really know who i can really count on, who should just shut their ___ up, who should just buzz off and quit breathing down my neck, and who i know will be there, even if nothing's gonna come out of it. of course...there are those who visit my blog but dont tag, just wanna say...sorry if i freaked you out with my. pmsy mood or something.

Oh yea not to mention im feeling darn stressed up even after the tests, i dont know whyyy. and then there's the people around you. sometimes cca makes me cry too. not to mention third lang and piano and all the extra stuff. i know im falling behind. therefore im going to do something to kick myself back up.

hey, something's gotta give okay.

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 5:14 PM

give me a week. i'll get over everything. i promise(:

and she rocked and rolled_]
at 2:47 PM